Seven Mistakes People Make When Trying To Win Their Ex- Back

Published: 09th January 2009
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Most people get very desperate when they are trying to get their ex- back and this desperate feeling usually leads to some big mistakes that totally destroy their chances of ever actually getting their ex to come back to them. If you currently find yourself in this situation then you should read this article to find out what seven of the most common mistakes are so you don't make them.

Mistake #1: Buying the ex flowers (for an ex-girlfriend) or a card (for an ex-boyfriend.)

This only makes you appear needy. You may be trying to show your ex- how much you need them and how much you love them but really they already know that. That's not what you need to do to get your ex- back. You will push your ex- away with this sort of tactic. Don't buy them anything.

Mistake #2: Contacting the ex- all the time by calling, texting, or E-mailing him or her.

When winning back your ex you must make some contact with them but you also must be very careful in how you make that contact and what kind of contact you make. Do not call them or send them messages constantly. This mistake is even worse than #1. It will make you appear extremely needy and it's a great way to destroy any chance you ever have of getting back with them.

Mistake #3: Not contacting the ex- at all.

This may seem like the right move and you may have even heard this suggested but the truth is this isn't going to work either. While it is definitely better than contacting your ex- constantly it's still not what you actually should be doing to win your ex- back. You risk the possibility of your ex- forgetting about you and moving on for good if you try this method.

Mistake #4: Talking about your breakup on MySpace or Facebook or anywhere else on the internet.

Again this just makes you seem needy. You think you are showing your ex- how much you care about him or her and how much it is hurting you. But really you are just going to make your ex- think they made the right decision in leaving you. Frankly it will only make you appear like a "loser." Instead of showing weakness this is the time you really must show strength (no matter how much you hurt inside, you can not show it.)

Mistake #5: Asking people your ex- knows about what he or she is up to.

This is a big mistake because it will get back to your ex- and it will only make you seem pathetic. You should not talk about your ex- to anyone who your ex- talks to. It will get back to them!

Mistake #6: Writing the ex- a song or a poem.

This may seem like a grand romantic gesture to you and it may even work out if you are an incredibly gifted songwriter (but the poem thing definitely won't work even if you're Shakespeare.)

But it's more likely that it will fail miserably and just make you seem sort of sad and weak. They may feel sorry for you but they won't want to be with you. Pity is definitely not the emotion you want your ex- to have. That's not the emotion that will bring them back to you.

Mistake #7: Too obviously trying to make the ex- jealous.

While jealousy is definitely an emotion you should want them to have. You cannot be too obvious with any maneuver designed to make them jealous. You must be very careful in how you go about it. In fact curiosity is more what you should be going for. Make them wonder about what you are up to, don't push it in their face.


Do you notice a common theme in most of these mistakes? Most mistakes make the the person committing that mistake appear weak. This is definitely not the right way to go about getting an ex- back. At the same time you can't go too far the other direction (not contacting them at all, trying to make them jealous in an obvious way.) You will need a more subtle technique to really get your ex- to want you back.


Marvin J. Markus knows that you can get your ex- back if you avoid these seven mistakes and instead do the things you have to do to make your ex- curious about you. That curiosity is the first step to winning them back. Use the Pull Your Ex Back guide to know how to do that. It's the guaranteed way to pull back your ex.

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